It's A Date!

A few days ago I posted about keeping the honeymoon alive in our marriages and made a couple of recommendations for other ways to show your spouse love in addition to physical intimacy. There is another way to keep things fun and fresh that I wanted to dedicate one whole post to, and that is continuing to date your spouse long after you say “I do”.

Dating your spouse is one of the best ways to keep the honeymoon alive. I think a lot of us lose interest in continuing to learn about our spouse after a while because we think we are aware of everything there is to know about them already, and once you add kiddos to the equation, we have a plethora of distractions. Sometimes we soon forget that we need to make alone time with our spouse to reconnect and continue building upon our relationship.

I can tell you from experience that when Anthony and I go on a date, we have the best time reconnecting and end up having some great conversations over dinner and wine. (We actually prefer to go to dinner over a movie so that we can talk.) We eat and converse and compliment one another on looking nice. (I can’t lie...Hearing Anthony tell me, “You are breathtakingly beautiful” never gets old). Afterwards, we usually hit up a Starbucks before going home and continue our conversation. We’ve talked about childhood, faith, family, politics, and school days. You can never learn too much about your spouse, especially since we’re constantly changing as a couple and as individuals. There really is nothing quite like breaking bread together, going over the details of your life with a fine toothed comb, and reliving the special moments that you’ve had together as a couple. It’s a great way to stoke the fire.

While getting all dressed up and hitting the town can be a lot of fun, sometimes money can be an issue. When we were first married, we didn’t have a whole lot of money. I would suspect that would be the case for most newlyweds. We would go out to dinner or a movie every now and again, but some of our best dates were at home. When we lived in Las Vegas, our apartment had a little porch with a table and two chairs. We’d sit out there with candlelight, some music playing in the background, a plate of fries or tater tots and Electronic Battleship. After Aidan went to bed, we had the absolute best time trying to beat each other. All of the smack talk and playful banter made for some really fun evenings…And beating the snot out of my ultra-competitive husband was always icing on the cake! Another romantic and inexpensive date is to pick up a bottle of wine, put on some tunes, and find a nice spot to star gaze. We’ve done this on occasion in our own backyard, and let me tell you, it makes for some very romantic evenings. If you’ve never danced out under the stars, you’re missing out. Don’t ever let the lack of funds discourage you from utilizing what you already have at home to create a perfect evening together.

Whether you have a flexible budget to splurge on a romantic evening out or if you have to count your pennies and plan for a romantic night in, either way, you can still have some much needed alone time with your spouse and continue to pursue them just like you did before you got married. Guys, I encourage you to take the initiative and plan a romantic evening for your wife. Maybe even get creative and pick an activity other than dinner or a movie. Us girls like to feel like our guys are still trying to chase and impress us. Be a gentleman by opening doors and pull out her chair. Stand up when she excuses herself from the table. Make her feel like the most beautiful lady in the room. Girls, take some extra time to do your hair and make-up. Rock an outfit that maybe you haven’t worn in a while. Go that extra mile to make your husband take notice of all the little things that made him attracted to you in the first place, and for goodness sake, flirt with him! If you both put forth the effort to pursue one another, you’re going to end up feeling special and incredibly loved by your spouse, and if you’re lucky, perhaps you can indulge in a little one on one once you close the bedroom door for the evening. The honeymoon can last your entire marriage. I feel in my heart that it’s what God intends for our marriages. You just have to be willing to put forth the time and effort. Your spouse is worth it. Your marriage is worth it.

“Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God.” – 1 John 3:7