Destin

We recently took some time to go to Destin, FL to unwind and recharge the old batteries. We rent a beach house there that has truly become a home away from home. We’ve been making beautiful memories there for our family, and are so excited to continue to make even more memories with family and friends that decide to come and stay with us over the years.

The first full day there was literally a washout.  It rained like crazy for the majority of the day so we decided to go to Big Daddy’s Arcade with the kids to give them something to do. They all had a blast, especially Aidan who ended up hitting a 1,000 ticket jackpot. After about 5 minutes of the machine spitting out tickets I quit keeping track of the time. It was a ridiculously long wait, but we had a very happy young man on our hands, and that made the rain outside seem like small potatoes.

The next day we had a little rain off and on throughout the day.  Seemed every time we got ready to go on the beach, it would start to rain and we’d be running up the sandy hill back to the beach house to impatiently wait for the next opportunity to have our feet in the sand. Aidan also got to experience the unpleasantness of Portuguese man o’ wars. Poor kid was stung several times on his chest and once on his leg. I was impressed with how well he handled the stings. Minutes later, he was right back in the water playing as if nothing had happened and he didn’t shed a single tear. Had it been me, I would have been a complete sobbing mess in my lounge chair! I’m kind of a wimp when it comes to that sort of thing and I am ok with that.

The days that followed were filled with sand, plenty of sunshine, playing in the water, listening to amazing music and just good old-fashioned family fun. Bella never did take to the beach this year which was disappointing, especially since she loved it last year. Anthony and I took turns hanging out with her up at the house while the other stayed with the boys on the beach. It worked out perfectly and we all managed to enjoy ourselves regardless.

I think one of my favorite moments from our trip was when we were out on the beach flying a kite at sunset. Watching my children run up and down the beach with their kite bouncing around all the beautiful colors in the sky was heartwarming. Here’s a picture that I will forever treasure of that moment :

Other highlights included family dinners at Pompano Joe’s and Hard Rock Café, beautiful starry nights out on the deck and listening to the waves crash along the shore, glow in the dark mini golf, and a pirate cruise that we took the kids on. The boys had to “swab the deck” with mops as part of a game they played with the pirates. Both of them mop pretty well, so now I know I will have good helpers around the house.

I feel so blessed to be able to spend quality time with my family away from home. It’s safe to say that we are a bunch of beach bums (Well, not so much for Bella…yet…We’ll get there with her) that enjoy being out in God’s creation and sharing our time together without the distractions of everyday life. It’s a time to strengthen our bond and have some fun. I’m already anticipating the great things that next year will have in store for us!

To Pierce Or Not To Pierce

I have asked myself that question many times over the last 15 years or so. I have my ear lobes pierced and the cartilage at the top of both ears pierced. And once upon a time I had my tongue pierced for many years and my belly button, too. I’ve let those two piercings go over the years, but there was one more piercing that I sat on for many moons, and that was my nose. After 10 years of debate, I finally made the decision (with the support of some amazing people) to finally have it done.

I had some reservations about it. At first, my husband wasn’t on board, but after having a long heartfelt discussion recently, he gave me reassurance that it would be ok with him. Then I was also back and forth on how big of a hole would be left behind when I do take it out (I researched that topic and was satisfied with what I read) and most importantly, would it offend anyone in my family. I made the decision to use a temp for a few days just to give my kids a visual of what I would look like with my nose pierced. Surprisingly, my kids were not very inquisitive about it. In fact, it didn’t bother them at all. If it would have been something that would have freaked my kids out, I would never have done it, but they definitely gave me a bright green light. In their own way, it was like they said, “Mom, we will love you anyway. Just do what makes you happy”, and so I did.

I have my reasons for having it done, mostly because I personally think it’s cute and unique to me. I have always been one to express myself through my appearance whether it’s been piercings, coloring or styling my hair a certain way, make-up or my clothing choices. I’ve tamed it down a lot since I have gotten married, but I started to feel like I wasn’t being completely true to myself. My punk rock goddess has been screaming to come out for quite some time. Granted, I can’t go running around dressed like my inner Gwen Stefani anymore because I am getting older (blah), but there are things I can do to tap into my edgy side and still show the world that I am a loving wife and mother despite my appearance. It really does sadden me that people base their judgments of others solely on how they choose to look.

I am loyal to my role as wife and mother, but I also have a very significant need to not forget about who I am and what makes me tick, so with the support of my loving husband and amazing friends, I finally gave into my edginess and got my nose pierced. It’s not about rebellion or being out of control or losing my mind or even trying to relive my “glory days”. It’s all about showing the world the woman that I am…A fun-loving, edgy, Christian wife and mother who happens to still thoroughly enjoy rocking out to 90’s alternative while cooking dinner, cleaning the house and rocking my daughter. It doesn’t make me a bad person in any way shape or form. It just makes me, well…me.

Thanks to all who played a role in this little adventure of mine, whether I have had deep heartfelt conversations with you about it or if you actually showed up for the occasion to either cheer me on or just happened to pierce your nose with me (couldn’t have asked for a better person to do this with than YOU), y’all know who you are, and I love you deeply for being so accepting of me and not casting judgment just because I want to be myself. You guys rock my socks!!!

You've Got A Friend

I was recently reminiscing with a friend about “the good old days” back when we were in high school. It’s amazing that it’ll be 15 years this month since the Class of ’98 walked out of Assumption together for the last time. So much has transpired over the years, and social media has been a key player in keeping us connected. Thanks to social media, we were able to plan a fun weekend and ended up with a fantastic turnout for our 10 year reunion, and in just a few more years, we’ll be planning our 20 year…That’s almost painful to say! So in the spirit of remembering dear friends, I figured I’d dedicate a post to some of my favorite stand-out high school memories.

• Decorating for dances our Jr. year – We would work ridiculously late into the night, but I think we had picked out some pretty good themes. The most memorable would have to be Homecoming ’97. We worked so hard on that backdrop! And who could forget those antebellum dresses?! Anything to make it all come together and look authentic. I think by the time court was over and the dance started, we ditched the dresses for some much comfier attire.

• Ring Ceremony – That was a very special night. We were all so excited to finally get our rings. As soon as everyone had their rings we were turning them and signing each other’s cards, and of course saving that last turn to “lock” our ring for that special someone. We also had the opportunity to break bread together for dinner after. That really was a nice time.

• The Bread Van – If you went to Hanson during our “era”, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You could always find the bread van near the football field during games. I believe it was our Sr. year that we decided (for whatever crazy reasons) to decorate the bread van and use it as our class display for homecoming on the front lawn of the school. We got into some trouble for that and had to serve Saturday detention, but it was definitely worth it. We all had a blast!

• Homecoming Week – This one was especially special for seniors. Us girls had a whole week to spoil our guys with treats and decorating their rooms. Decorating lockers was fun for the girls and their moms. I’d be willing to bet that there is still some glitter lingering in the hallways from our lockers. The girls enjoyed a luncheon at The Forest and we had the pleasure of being “interviewed” on Teche Talk. I remember Sara Baudry, being the jokester she is, saying that she was a Varsity Statistician and it took off from there. Everyone was a “varsity” something. The best part was that no one knew what in the world we were talking about except for us. The camaraderie was wonderful!

• Mr. Miller – The math teacher that everyone loved to aggravate, myself included. By the time he left Hanson, almost half of the classroom’s tile had been peeled up off the floors! We were constantly throwing things across the room when his back was turned. And, boy, did he love to throw people out of class. I’d got thrown out on a few occasions for talking. He’d send me to the guidance counselor, for whatever reason. She’d laugh and send me right back to class which would further infuriate Mr. Miller. As an adult, I feel kinda bad, but I won’t lie, it still makes me laugh…”You guys!”

• Sr. Retreat – This one holds a particularly special place in my heart. It was a very emotional weekend filled with God’s love and our love for one another. I remember our last day there we sat down in our own personal space to read letters from our parents. I still have my letters stored someplace. After we read our letters, we came together in the center of the room and  sat in a large circle. We took turns standing up and talking with everyone about our years together. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. I think it was the first time that we really shared with one another just how special our class was. It’s a beautiful memory that I’ll always cherish.

• Sr. Last Mass – That was another tear jerker! I remember I read the 1^st reading that morning. It took all I had not to sob all over scripture. Then came the class flower exchange and slideshow which sends the entire school assembly, faculty and parents into the ugly cry. It was definitely a bittersweet day, but still so very special.

I hope that this brought back some fun memories for my classmates, and perhaps brought up their own favorite memories! "Come on and fight them, you Tigers…"

                                                                                    

Let's Eat!

Open communication is an essential practice in The Brown household, and what better way to spend quality time than talking with each other around the dinner table. Very rarely do we not eat a meal in the evenings together as a family. It’s the perfect time to catch up with each other and learn all the latest and greatest on the school ground. Plus it gives us as parents a chance to listen in for any key words or phrases to let us know if there is something that we need address with the kids.

Not every night (some nights are rushed because of after school activities), but most nights we go around the table and ask, “What was your favorite part of the day?” I find that when Anthony and I discuss the highlights of our day, the kids are more willing to participate. It’s an opportunity for us to really get to know our kids. We want to be aware of who they are hanging out with, what kinds of games they are the playing with friends and what they’re learning in the classroom.Every bit of information helps us to be better parents. Aidan will go into explicit detail over every part of his day. So much so, we have to remind him constantly to finish eating his meal. His enthusiasm for sharing with us is encouraging, especially in light of the fact that we are approaching an awkward age where he won’t want to talk as much. Ethan is still getting the hang of figuring out his favorite part of the day. So far it’s eating lunch with his friends and recess, but we’re also learning about how he feels about a few of his classmates. He’ll tell us if they’re being mean or if they’re bad in class. He’s starting to understand about what's acceptable social behavior and what's unacceptable. I’m happy that he seems to favor the acceptable behavior. Bella just laughs, and that’s more than good enough for us.

We always want our children to feel comfortable talking with us about everything and anything. We want the dinner table to be a safe place where they feel free to openly discuss whatever is on their minds. I’m sure as they get older, they won’t want to talk as much. Teenagers, especially, have a knack for keeping mum, but our hope is that by practicing open communication during dinner, they’ll be more willing (and comfortable) to talk with us, especially when difficult situations arise. If eating together as a family is something that you haven't been doing as of late, try to get everyone together at the same time and form your own tradition around the dinner table. You'll help to facilitate better communication with your spouse and your littles, plus you'll be creating wonderful memories for your family to look back on for years to come. Fellowship at the table is an act that God calls all of us to. Say grace, enjoy your meal, share your thoughts and spread God’s love to your family and friends. Bon Appétit!

“They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer”. – Acts 2:42

Cleaning House

I grew up in an immaculately clean home. My mom vacuumed practically every day and mopped the floors multiple times a week. I never quite understood why she cleaned so much (other than to help with my allergies), but now that I have my own home and family, it makes so much more sense to me. It’s all about taking care of what God has blessed you with and making sure the wonderful people you live with and everyone who walks through that front door feel comfortable.

I’ve seen on facebook a quote that says “A clean house is the sign of a wasted life” posted numerous times over the years. I get a little worrisome when I come across it. In the back of my mind I’m wondering if my friends secretly think that about me. I’m the girl that gets warned with, “Jen, my house is a mess. Please don’t look around!” when I visit. Funny thing is, as much as I like to keep my house tidy, how someone else keeps their house really isn’t a bother to me. I love my friends dearly and I go to their houses to see them, not how clean their home is, and I think they know that. (And there’s no secret judging going on either, ladies!) :)

I like my home to feel fresh and inviting. When someone reclines on the couch and props their feet up on the coffee table, I want it to become their “ahhhh moment”. Seeing their comfort makes me so very happy! That in and of itself makes all the mundane housework worth it. For me, keeping the house tidy is my little way to make others happy by providing them with a comfortable space.

I’ve been asked before how I manage to keep everything so clean and in place with three kids, but I really don’t have any “method for my madness”. I do the major cleaning once a week (dusting, vacuuming, mopping, kitchen/bathrooms). The rest of the week is all about picking up and spot cleaning. I find the more I pick up and spot clean throughout the week, the easier my major cleaning days are.

For the domestic divas looking to do a cleaning overhaul of your own home, I do have some advice. For one, don’t do it all in one day! De-clutter, reorganize and clean one room at a time. Once you get everything to your liking, it’s easy to keep it maintained. If I may, I’d also like to recommend a few of my favorite cleaning products (I have an impressive line-up on the top shelf of the bathroom closet). For cleaning the kitchen/bathroom sinks, counters, bathtubs and toilet seats, Comet is my absolute best friend. Lysol toilet bowl cleaner works much better than anything else I’ve ever used (The Scrubbing Bubbles gel thing that sticks to the bowl don’t work worth a darn and just encourages little hands to play in the toilet water). For mopping, I like Mr. Clean antibacterial (lemon scent). For everyday spot cleaning, 409 works the best. It works quickly on a number of surfaces AND it’s also antibacterial. Plus it smells better than using Clorox cleaning products. Windex is great, too, but don’t use too much of it. The more you use, the more streaks you’ll leave behind and also more lint will come off of the paper towel and stick to the glass. And just for freshening up, Febreze does the trick. I love the Gain scented one. It’s fresh but not overpowering.

I am so very thankful for all that God has blessed us with. I feel that it is my obligation to Him to take care of our home. This home is a gift and I get to share it with so many amazing people. I don’t feel like I’m wasting my life when it comes to cleanliness. I feel like it’s my way of praising God for His goodness, and I do it all out of love for Him, my family and my friends. Besides, when all of my work is done, there’s nothing like breathing in deeply and smelling the freshness. If peace had a scent, I’m pretty sure that clean smell would be it. 

Lost And Found

Just about every parent has that brief moment where one of your children isn’t accounted for. It’ll happen at a department store or at a theme park. Time stands still as you search frantically for your little one. Five minutes feels like five hours. After almost 8 years of being a mother, it finally happened to me, but I wasn’t out and about. I was right here at home.

Anthony was working in his office and I was getting dressed in the bathroom. Bella was watching me put on my make-up as she does just about every morning and Ethan was playing Nick Jr. games on the computer in the kitchen. While I was in the bathroom, I heard the door chime beep. Since Anthony works from home, I assumed maybe he went out into the garage for something or went in the backyard to remove the dead bird laying out on the patio that I had not long before texted him about.

About 10 minutes later, I came out of the bathroom to tell Ethan to go potty before we left for the grocery store. I called around for him and all I heard in return was a deafening silence. My pulse began to quicken as I ran around upstairs and down searching frantically for my boy. I couldn’t find him anywhere. Then I remembered that the door chime beeped while I was in the bathroom. I ran out to the backyard and saw the dead bird was still on the patio. It was proof that Anthony wasn’t the one to open the door. Fear gripped me to my core as I had to acknowledge that Ethan opened it.

Panic starts to set in as I make one more search around the yard and the house. Every worst case scenario begins to run through my mind (Someone heard him in the backyard playing and snatched him or he somehow managed to open the side gates and was walking to the park alone or he was going to the duck pond and oh dear God, what if he fell in and drowned? What if he was hit by a car? What if he’s lost out there and scared and I can’t find him? Oh, Jesus, please no!!! Not my baby!!!!)  I barge into Anthony’s office not caring that he was on the phone and told him that Ethan was missing. He hung up the phone and searched everywhere I had looked and still no answer. No sweet little voice to ease my greatest fears. I ran down the street calling for him and found absolutely nothing but a beautiful day that’s unaware of my despair.

Finally, I return to the backyard and try to control my thoughts and think logically about where he might be. Anthony runs out back to meet me and gives me the relief that my heart was longing for. He found Ethan in the car and buckled into his car seat. I fell to my knees at his words and went prostrate, thanking God that we found him safe and sound. Tears filled my eyes as I tried to catch my breath.

I hadn’t told him we were going to the store, but for whatever reason he felt compelled to go sit in the car and wait for Bella and me. The adrenaline rush left my heart hammering, and my body began to shake. My heart is still racing as I type this and think of the terror I felt in that briefest of moments. Ethan could tell we were frightened and he began to feel scared as well. He apologized and we reminded him to never open the door without asking Mommy or Daddy first.Then I smothered him in hugs and kisses.

We went on to the grocery store and life resumed as normal, except for when he asked, “Mommy, can I have this?”, for random things he really didn’t need (normally he’s told “no” to most of it), but today because I love him so much and can’t bear the thought of ever losing him like that again, I acquiesced and bought him the finger paints, Teddy Grahams, and pack of toothbrushes he sweetly asked for.

We are so vigilant with keeping our eyes on our kids, and this situation goes to prove that losing them, if only for a moment can happen anywhere at any time. I hope and pray that we never feel that fear of losing a child ever again. I’ll be holding all three of my children even tighter. Thank you, Jesus, for keeping your hand over our son.

Recalculating!

How many times have we looked up to the heavens with a pouty countenance and asked, “Ok, God. That didn't work out so now what?” I’ve asked that question at least a million times and I’m sure I’ll ask it a million more. When we’re young and lacking inhibitions, the world is our oyster. We think we know exactly what we want and how we’re going to get there, but as life plays itself out, we find out that as much as we thought we were on our way to dotting the “i’s” and crossing the “t’s” of our plans, we weren’t even close to having a sharpened pencil to write with. Frustrating isn’t it? I think what makes it most frustrating is that we have to begrudgingly accept that we really don’t have control over what transpires in our lives. Try as we might, we can’t possibly ensure that everything we want to accomplish will turn out the way we planned. It’s especially tough to turn over the wheel to God and allow Him to do the steering. Unfortunately, I’m a painfully stubborn daughter and still learning this lesson the hard way!

For just about every facet of my life, I have a checklist to reference and an internal GPS programmed with a final destination. I hate that unexpected “recalculating” moment (Except when it’s an Allstate commercial with Mayhem, then it’s just funny).  If I do have to take an alternate path, I become very overwhelmed and begin to have feelings of anxiety because I can’t control what’s happening. Most recently, I had my first ever panic attack over selling our house and trying to buy another one. Once I pulled myself together and stopped feeling like a putz for not handling the situation better (I’m sure it was a pathetic sight to behold), I had to begin the process of reevaluating my plan and trying to better understand what was my purpose for it in the first place. Besides letting go of my white knuckle grip and allowing God to take over, one of the things I learned about myself through this particular situation is that I was definitely not designed to be under stress. Some people can handle it beautifully with such grace and fortitude. I was not blessed with nerves of steel, and I’m at peace with that. I just need to do a better job at communicating my feelings when I’m feeling anxious. Bottling it up only made me look certifiably crazy!

So what do we do when our plans go awry? The best place to turn is scripture. I think it’s safe to say that one of the most popular scripture passages regarding this subject is Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."  It's a passage that covers a broad spectrum as it is applicable to every single area of our lives. We always think that we know better than Him and are quick to forget that He is the God of the Universe…He knows everything about everything for goodness sake! We aren’t supposed to know how our plans are going to turn out. If we did, we wouldn’t need faith in God and that is certainly not a part of His plan. He wants us to depend on Him for all of our needs. Sometimes we struggle with having unequivocal trust in God’s will because our faith in Him just isn’t strong enough, but think of it like this...Just as our muscles get stronger when we workout, the more we place our faith in God, the stronger our faith will be.

A moment ago I mentioned reevaluating my plan. When things don’t go according to the way we expect them to, we should dissect every detail about that plan. I think the most important place to start is looking at the intended purpose of our plan, whatever it may be. Was it something that I needed or that I wanted? Was it something that would bring me closer to God or lead me astray? Was it something to help others or was it to help myself? I find more often than not that when I have a selfish intent, things don’t go my way. It’s God’s way of humbling me and keeping me rooted in His plans. God sees the bigger picture, and I often times find it difficult to focus in on what He is preparing for me amidst all the craziness that speeds this life along. In the case of selling/buying a house, I don’t believe that I am being selfish over material possessions, but I do believe that I was being selfish by thinking that I could do this all on my own without completely relying on Him. In my heart, I prayed about this plan and kept my focus on His will for me, but my head was secretly holding on to a false hope that everything would work out the way I wanted it to. Now that I have gained some clarity (sometimes you have to freak your freak to get there), I have even more confidence in God’s plan for me and my family. I still feel stress and a little anxiety from having to keep the house immaculately tidy, but that comes with the territory of selling a home. Overall, I actually have peace whether we sell our home now or at some other time.

The Rolling Stones got it right in these lyrics:

You can't always get what you want 
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need

                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

What we want isn’t necessarily aligned with His plans for us to prosper (spiritually, emotionally, financially), and keeping our faith firm in Him can help us tremendously when our plans get flushed down the toilet. It’s a good thing that we don’t always get what we want because at the end of that season, we may not end up being as happy as we thought we would be. If you don’t get that house, or land that job, or get that raise, or receive the answers you were hoping for, don’t fret. It just means that God is working on something even better for you. Don’t look at it as being an unanswered prayer. No answer is an answer. Trust in His love and His plan, and while you’re at it, buckle up and try to enjoy all the “recalculating”. Sometimes the scenic route ends up being a much better adventure anyway.

“The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs His steps.”- Proverbs 16:9