Lost And Found

Just about every parent has that brief moment where one of your children isn’t accounted for. It’ll happen at a department store or at a theme park. Time stands still as you search frantically for your little one. Five minutes feels like five hours. After almost 8 years of being a mother, it finally happened to me, but I wasn’t out and about. I was right here at home.

Anthony was working in his office and I was getting dressed in the bathroom. Bella was watching me put on my make-up as she does just about every morning and Ethan was playing Nick Jr. games on the computer in the kitchen. While I was in the bathroom, I heard the door chime beep. Since Anthony works from home, I assumed maybe he went out into the garage for something or went in the backyard to remove the dead bird laying out on the patio that I had not long before texted him about.

About 10 minutes later, I came out of the bathroom to tell Ethan to go potty before we left for the grocery store. I called around for him and all I heard in return was a deafening silence. My pulse began to quicken as I ran around upstairs and down searching frantically for my boy. I couldn’t find him anywhere. Then I remembered that the door chime beeped while I was in the bathroom. I ran out to the backyard and saw the dead bird was still on the patio. It was proof that Anthony wasn’t the one to open the door. Fear gripped me to my core as I had to acknowledge that Ethan opened it.

Panic starts to set in as I make one more search around the yard and the house. Every worst case scenario begins to run through my mind (Someone heard him in the backyard playing and snatched him or he somehow managed to open the side gates and was walking to the park alone or he was going to the duck pond and oh dear God, what if he fell in and drowned? What if he was hit by a car? What if he’s lost out there and scared and I can’t find him? Oh, Jesus, please no!!! Not my baby!!!!)  I barge into Anthony’s office not caring that he was on the phone and told him that Ethan was missing. He hung up the phone and searched everywhere I had looked and still no answer. No sweet little voice to ease my greatest fears. I ran down the street calling for him and found absolutely nothing but a beautiful day that’s unaware of my despair.

Finally, I return to the backyard and try to control my thoughts and think logically about where he might be. Anthony runs out back to meet me and gives me the relief that my heart was longing for. He found Ethan in the car and buckled into his car seat. I fell to my knees at his words and went prostrate, thanking God that we found him safe and sound. Tears filled my eyes as I tried to catch my breath.

I hadn’t told him we were going to the store, but for whatever reason he felt compelled to go sit in the car and wait for Bella and me. The adrenaline rush left my heart hammering, and my body began to shake. My heart is still racing as I type this and think of the terror I felt in that briefest of moments. Ethan could tell we were frightened and he began to feel scared as well. He apologized and we reminded him to never open the door without asking Mommy or Daddy first.Then I smothered him in hugs and kisses.

We went on to the grocery store and life resumed as normal, except for when he asked, “Mommy, can I have this?”, for random things he really didn’t need (normally he’s told “no” to most of it), but today because I love him so much and can’t bear the thought of ever losing him like that again, I acquiesced and bought him the finger paints, Teddy Grahams, and pack of toothbrushes he sweetly asked for.

We are so vigilant with keeping our eyes on our kids, and this situation goes to prove that losing them, if only for a moment can happen anywhere at any time. I hope and pray that we never feel that fear of losing a child ever again. I’ll be holding all three of my children even tighter. Thank you, Jesus, for keeping your hand over our son.