Recalculating!

How many times have we looked up to the heavens with a pouty countenance and asked, “Ok, God. That didn't work out so now what?” I’ve asked that question at least a million times and I’m sure I’ll ask it a million more. When we’re young and lacking inhibitions, the world is our oyster. We think we know exactly what we want and how we’re going to get there, but as life plays itself out, we find out that as much as we thought we were on our way to dotting the “i’s” and crossing the “t’s” of our plans, we weren’t even close to having a sharpened pencil to write with. Frustrating isn’t it? I think what makes it most frustrating is that we have to begrudgingly accept that we really don’t have control over what transpires in our lives. Try as we might, we can’t possibly ensure that everything we want to accomplish will turn out the way we planned. It’s especially tough to turn over the wheel to God and allow Him to do the steering. Unfortunately, I’m a painfully stubborn daughter and still learning this lesson the hard way!

For just about every facet of my life, I have a checklist to reference and an internal GPS programmed with a final destination. I hate that unexpected “recalculating” moment (Except when it’s an Allstate commercial with Mayhem, then it’s just funny).  If I do have to take an alternate path, I become very overwhelmed and begin to have feelings of anxiety because I can’t control what’s happening. Most recently, I had my first ever panic attack over selling our house and trying to buy another one. Once I pulled myself together and stopped feeling like a putz for not handling the situation better (I’m sure it was a pathetic sight to behold), I had to begin the process of reevaluating my plan and trying to better understand what was my purpose for it in the first place. Besides letting go of my white knuckle grip and allowing God to take over, one of the things I learned about myself through this particular situation is that I was definitely not designed to be under stress. Some people can handle it beautifully with such grace and fortitude. I was not blessed with nerves of steel, and I’m at peace with that. I just need to do a better job at communicating my feelings when I’m feeling anxious. Bottling it up only made me look certifiably crazy!

So what do we do when our plans go awry? The best place to turn is scripture. I think it’s safe to say that one of the most popular scripture passages regarding this subject is Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."  It's a passage that covers a broad spectrum as it is applicable to every single area of our lives. We always think that we know better than Him and are quick to forget that He is the God of the Universe…He knows everything about everything for goodness sake! We aren’t supposed to know how our plans are going to turn out. If we did, we wouldn’t need faith in God and that is certainly not a part of His plan. He wants us to depend on Him for all of our needs. Sometimes we struggle with having unequivocal trust in God’s will because our faith in Him just isn’t strong enough, but think of it like this...Just as our muscles get stronger when we workout, the more we place our faith in God, the stronger our faith will be.

A moment ago I mentioned reevaluating my plan. When things don’t go according to the way we expect them to, we should dissect every detail about that plan. I think the most important place to start is looking at the intended purpose of our plan, whatever it may be. Was it something that I needed or that I wanted? Was it something that would bring me closer to God or lead me astray? Was it something to help others or was it to help myself? I find more often than not that when I have a selfish intent, things don’t go my way. It’s God’s way of humbling me and keeping me rooted in His plans. God sees the bigger picture, and I often times find it difficult to focus in on what He is preparing for me amidst all the craziness that speeds this life along. In the case of selling/buying a house, I don’t believe that I am being selfish over material possessions, but I do believe that I was being selfish by thinking that I could do this all on my own without completely relying on Him. In my heart, I prayed about this plan and kept my focus on His will for me, but my head was secretly holding on to a false hope that everything would work out the way I wanted it to. Now that I have gained some clarity (sometimes you have to freak your freak to get there), I have even more confidence in God’s plan for me and my family. I still feel stress and a little anxiety from having to keep the house immaculately tidy, but that comes with the territory of selling a home. Overall, I actually have peace whether we sell our home now or at some other time.

The Rolling Stones got it right in these lyrics:

You can't always get what you want 
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need

                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

What we want isn’t necessarily aligned with His plans for us to prosper (spiritually, emotionally, financially), and keeping our faith firm in Him can help us tremendously when our plans get flushed down the toilet. It’s a good thing that we don’t always get what we want because at the end of that season, we may not end up being as happy as we thought we would be. If you don’t get that house, or land that job, or get that raise, or receive the answers you were hoping for, don’t fret. It just means that God is working on something even better for you. Don’t look at it as being an unanswered prayer. No answer is an answer. Trust in His love and His plan, and while you’re at it, buckle up and try to enjoy all the “recalculating”. Sometimes the scenic route ends up being a much better adventure anyway.

“The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs His steps.”- Proverbs 16:9